Allahabad(India) beating Las Vegas -Amazing :) Happy Dussehra

A view of great lighting while we celebrate the famous festival in India:

Life at Google :) An Inside Look at Google

Google plex.......Full unedited video.....An inside view of google plex

Who wants to miss the fun : Must Watch video :)

Top Love Quotes & Sayings of All Time

Top 100 Love Quotes- Collection 


The following is our collection of Quotes about love or Romance that we feel are the top 
quoted quotes of all time. We have not placed these quotes in any particular order. Make sure to check them all out, they are great! (See what users like yourself ranked as the top Love Quotes.)


1. "A kiss is a lovely trick, designed by nature, to stop words when speech becomes superfluous."
--Ingrid Bergmen


2. Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are.
Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.
- Captain Corelli's Mandolin6. "Love is the beauty of the soul."
--St. Augustine


3. "My night has become a sunny dawn because of you."
--Ibn Abbad


4. "In real love you want the other person's good. In romantic love you want the other person."
--Margaret Anderson


5. "In dreams and in love there are no impossibilities."
--Janos Arnay
7. "Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies."
--Aristotle


8. "Each moment of a happy lover's hour is worth an age of dull and common life."
--Aphra Behn


9. "Your words are my food, your breath my wine. You are everything to me."
--Sarah Bernhardt


10. "In my wildest dreams, you always play the hero. In my darkest hour of night, you rescue me, you save my life."
--Bliss and Cerney


11. "Come live with me and be my love, and we will some new pleasures prove, of golden sands, and crystal beaches, with silken lines and silver hooks..."
--John Dunne


12. "What I do and what I dream include thee, as the wine must taste of its own grapes..."
--Elizabeth Barret Browning


13. "I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach..."
--Elizabeth Barrett Browning


14. "Take away love, and our earth is a tomb."
--Robert Browning
15. "But to see her was to love her, love but her, and love her forever."
--Robert Burns


16. "She walks in Beauty, like the night
Of cloudness climes and starry skies,
And all that's best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes..."
--Lord Byron


17. "Like music on the waters is they sweet voice to me."
--Lord Byron


18. "I love you, not only for what you are, But for what I am when I am with you."
--Roy Croft
19. "You're nothing short of my everything." 
--Ralph Block


20. "The only true gift is a portion of yourself."
--Ralph Waldo Emerson


21. "Thou art to me a delicious torment."
--Ralph Waldo Emerson


22. "Love distills desire upon the eyes, love brings bewitching grace into the heart."
--Euripides


23. "I love her and that's the beginning of everything."
--F. Scott Fitzgerald


24. "I wished for nothing beyond her smile, and to walk with her thus, hand in hand, along a sun-warmed, flower-bordered path."
--Andre Gide


25. "Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own."
--Robert Heinlein


26. "Where we love is home, home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts."
--Oliver Wendell Holmes


27. "What I feel for you seems less of earth and more of a cloudless heaven."
--Victor Hugo


28. "It's so easy, To think about Love, To Talk about Love, To wish for Love, But it's not always easy, To recognize Love, Even when we hold it.... In our hands."
--Jaka


29. "Two souls with but a single thought, two hearts that beat as one."
--John Keats


30. "The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart."
--Helen Keller


31. "... See there's this place in me where your fingerprints still rest, your kisses still linger, and your whispers softly echo. It's the place where a part of you will forever be a part of me." 
--Gretchen Kemp


32. "When you came, you were like red wine and honey, and the taste of you burnt my mouth with its sweetness."
--Amy Lowell


33. "Make me immortal with a kiss."
--Christopher Marlowe


34. "Oh, thou art fairer than the evening air Clad in the beauty of a thousand stars."
--Christopher Marlowe


35. "Love is the enchanted dawn of every heart."
--Alphonse Marie de la Martine


36. "In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything, and two minus one equals nothing."
--Mignon McLaughlin


37. "We came by night to the Fortunate Isles, And lay like fish Under the net of our kisses."
--Pablo Neruda


38. "The hours I spend with you I look upon as sort of a perfumed garden, a dim twilight, and a fountain signing to it...you and you alone make me feel that I am alive...Other men, it is said, have seen angels, but I have seen thee and thou art enough."
--George Moore


39. "In love there are two things: bodies and words."
--Joyce Carol Oates


40. "I become a waterwheel, turning and tasting you, as long as water moves."
--Rumi


41. "I miss you even more than I could have believed; and I was prepared to miss you a good deal."
--Vita Sackville-West


42. "Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction."
--Antoine de Saint-Exupery


43. "It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."
--Antoine de Saint-Exupery


44. "There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved."
--George Sand


45. "Sometimes your nearness takes my breath away; and all the things I want to say can find no voice. Then, in silence, I can only hope my eyes will speak my heart."
--Robert Sexton


46. "My heart is ever at your service."
--William Shakespeare


47. "The more I give to thee, the more I have, for both are infinite."
--William Shakespeare


48. "Love is but the discovery of ourselves in others, and the delight in the recognition."
--Alexander Smith


49. "I am my beloved, and my beloved is me."
--Song of Solomon


50. "Her breath is like honey spiced with cloves, Her mouth delicious as a ripened mango."
--Srzgarakarika


51. "To love is to receive a glimpse of heaven."
--Karen Sunde


52. "Love, till dawn sunder night from day with fire Dividing my delight and my desire..."
--A. C. Swinburne


53. "Love is friendship set on fire."
--Jeremy Taylor


54. "Within you I lose myself. Without you I find myself wanting to become lost again."
--Unknown


55. "Somewhere there's someone who dreams of your smile..."
--Unknown


56. "I see my fated stars in your eyes. They melt me like the sun does snow."
--Unknown


57. "The rose speaks of love silently, in a language known only to the heart."
--Unknown


58. "To be your friend was all I ever wanted; to be your lover was all I ever dreamed."
--Unknown


59. "If I could reach up and hold a star for every time you made me smile, I would have the whole night sky in the palm of my hand."
--Unknown


60. "If you love me only in my dreams, let me be asleep forever."
--Unknown


61. "Kiss me and you will see stars; love me and I will give them to you."
--Unknown


62. "Love is a dream that comes alive when we meet." 
--Unknown


63. "The soul that can speak with its eyes can also kiss with a gaze."
--Unknown


64. "Love is something eternal; the aspect may change, but not the essense."
--Vincent van Gogh


65. "Harmony is pure love, for love is a concerto."
--Lope de Vega


66. "Here are fruits, flowers, leaves, and branches, And here is my heart which beats only for you."
--Paul Verlaine


67. "When a heart finds another, what's a cloud more or less in the sky?"
--Wolf and Page


68. "The most precious possession that ever comes to a man in this world is a woman's heart. 
--Josiah G. Holland


69. "From every human being there rises a light that reaches straight to heaven. And when two souls that are destined to be together find each other, their streams of light flow together, and a single brighter light goes forth from their united being." 
--Unknown


70. "The most wonderful of all things in life is the discovery of another human being with whom one's relationship has a growing depth, beauty and joy as the years increase. This inner progressiveness of love between two human beings is a most marvelous thing; it cannot be found by looking for it or by passionately wishing for it. It is a sort of divine accident, and the most wonderful of all things in life."
--Sir Hugh Walpole


71. "Love means to commit oneself without guarantee, to give oneself completely in the hope that our love will produce love in the loved person. Love is an act of faith, and whoever is of little faith is also of little love."
--Erich Fromm


72. "You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly."
--Sam Keen


73. "The most powerful symptom of love is a tenderness which becomes at times almost insupportable."
--Victor Hugo


74. "True love begins when nothing is looked for in return."
--Antoine De Saint-Exupery


75. "Love is the emblem of eternity: it confounds all notion of time: effaces all memory of a beginning, all fear of an end."
--Germaine De Stael


76. "The life and love we create is the life and love we live."
--Leo Buscaglia


77. "For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it."
--Ivan Panin


78. "Listening is an attitude of the heart, a genuine desire to be with another which both attracts and heals."
--J. Isham


79. "Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage."
--Lao Tzu


80. "The most eloquent silence; that of two mouths meeting in a kiss."
--Unknown


81. "Since love grows within you, so beauty grows. For love is the beauty of the soul."
--St. Augustine


82. "Absence sharpens love, presence strengthens it."
--Thomas Fuller


83. "Paradise is always where love dwells."
--Jean Paul F. Richter


84. "True love is eternal, infinite, and always like itself. It is equal and pure, without violent demonstrations: it is seen with white hairs and is always young in the heart."
--Honore de Balzac


85. "We are all born for love... it is the principle existence and it's only end."
--Benjamin Disraeli


86. "Love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness."
--Oliver Wendell Holmes


87. "Love doesn't make the world go round, love is what makes the ride worthwhile."
--Elizabeth Browning


88. " When you are in Love you can't fall asleep because reality is better than your dreams. "
-- Dr Suese


89. "If I know what love is, it is because of you."
--Herman Hesse


90. "So dear I love him that with him, 
All deaths I could endure. 
Without him, live no life."
-- William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet


91. "Love is like a friendship caught on fire: In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable."
--Bruce Lee


92. "She walks in beauty, 
Like the night of cloudless climes and starry skies; 
And all that's best of dark and bright 
Meet in her aspect and her eyes."
--Byron


93. "....A simple I love you means more than money...."
--Frank Sinatra


94. "How delicious is the winning of a kiss at love's beginning." 
--Thomas Campbell


95. "One word frees us of all the weight and pain in life. That word is Love."
--Sophocles


96. "Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired."
--Mark Twain


97. " Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you' re just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have YOU... The one who turns to his friends and says, thats her... "
-- Unknown


98. "There is no remedy for love but to love more."
--Henry David Thoreau


99. "If I had a flower for every time I thought of you, I could walk in my garden forever."
--Alfred Lord Tennyson


100. "All love is sweet, given or returned."
--Percy Bysshe Shelley

What we need In life

Nice story, very true. Fact of life-

A man found a cocoon of an emperor moth. He took it home so that he could watch the moth come out of the cocoon. On the day a small opening appeared, he sat and watched the moth for several hours as the moth struggled to force the body through that little hole.

Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could and it could go no farther. It just seemed to be stuck. Then the man, in his kindness, decided to help the moth, so he took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon. The moth then emerged easily.

But it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings. The man continued to watch the moth because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time. Neither happened! In fact, the little moth spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled body and shriveled wings. It never was able to fly.

What the man in his kindness and haste did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the moth to get through the tiny opening was the way of forcing fluid from the body of the moth into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon. Freedom and flight would only come after the struggle. By depriving the moth of a struggle, he deprived the moth of health.

Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our life. If we were to go through our life without any obstacles, we would be crippled.

We would not be as strong as what we could have been. Give every opportunity a chance, leave no room for regrets.“May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human enough hope to make you happy.”

Beauty Tips for Face - Can SAVE lots of Money

Everyone wants to look their best and as beautiful as they can. Many of us spend a lot of money on branded beauty products and on numerous visits to the beauty parlor. There are a number of simple beauty treatments that we can use with things that are easily available in our homes. Here are a few home beauty tips that you can try using things from the kitchen without any extra cost.

• To remove puffiness from the eyelids, massage a drop of very fresh castor oil on to them.
• To cool your eyes, make eye pads using thick slices of cucumber. Another option is to use cotton pads soaked in cold milk. Lie down and place them on your closed eyes and relax for a while.
• Putting a drop of rose water into each eye just before you sleep can also refresh you eyes.
• To prevent your lips from chapping, use hot water fermentation on your lips and then apply a mixture of vaseline and honey. Apply this mixture about three times a week.
• To prevent your lips from drying you can use a ground mixture or rose petals and milk butter.
• To delay age spots on your hand, use a piece of lemon and rub all over your hand, before washing. This will delay onset of age-spots.
• While blow drying and setting your hair, blow-dry at hot on the roots of the hair. Roll your hair inwards or outwards at the ends. To improve the setting make sure the ends are evenly rolled in or rolled out. Heat the hair for a second and then let it cool. This process of setting the hair will last longer and make your hair look beautiful.
• If you have no time to shampoo your hair before going out, then brush 1 tablespoon of talcum powder or corn flour through your hair. Try this out first when you are not in hurry to make sure that it works the way you want.
• To prevent hair loss you should have a biotin rich drink. Blend bananas with honey, yogurt and low fat milk. Drink this for a few weeks.
•  To condition your hair, after shampooing your hair take some conditioner on your palm and rub it with both hands. Apply from the hair shaft moving downwards. Do not apply on your scalp. Rinse your hair after 5 minutes.
• To add extra shine and glow to your hair add 2 tablespoons of malt vinegar. Use it as a last rinse and towel dry your hair.

Beauty Food

There is no doubt that all of us want to look beautiful, slim and fit. One has to exercise sufficiently to look good. But it is important to eat the right kind of diet to look beautiful.

Cause of Dark Circles
Our face attracts the most amount of attention. Therefore, we pay most attention to the way our face looks. We take special care of our face, its skin, its appearance and we try to present our face in the most beautiful manner we can.

Beauty Diet
Your diet contributes a great deal towards making you beautiful. Therefore eating a proper healthy diet is important to keep looking beautiful.

Tips to Look Young
There will hardly be any one on this earth who wants to look old. In fact, almost every one of us wants to look young throughout his/ her life. However, time is relentless and you tend to get older every year.

Money Money -Joke

 There was a man who worked all of his life and saved all of his money. He was a real miser when it came to his money. He loved money more than just about anything, and just before he died, he said to his wife, "Now listen, when I die, I want you to take all my money and place it in the casket with me. I wanna take my money to the afterlife."

So he got his wife to promise him with all her heart that when he died, she would put all the money in the casket with him.

Well, one day he died. He was stretched out in the casket, the wife was sitting there in black next to her closest friend. When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said "Wait just a minute!"

She had a shoe box with her, she came over with the box and placed it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down and rolled it away. Her friend said, "I hope you weren't crazy enough to put all that money in the casket."

"Yes," the wife said, "I promised. I'm a good Christian, I can't lie. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him."

"You mean to tell me you put every cent of his money in the casket with him?"

"I sure did. I got it all together, put it into my account and I wrote him a check."

How to -Handle Office Politics

Office politics can get really ugly. The worst part is you can't stay completely out of it when you're a part of the office. It has a way of getting into any organisation - a small or big one. Though you try your best to avoid it, you're bound to get into the trap sooner or later. Here's how to deal with office politics when you're caught in the middle.

1. Don't abuse your position.
Don't let your position of power go to your head and definitely do not use it to your own advantage. This will only attract brickbats from your colleagues and you are bound to be the centre of office politics. 

"While handling your team, avoid using your position to walk over subordinates. Your attitude towards them will fuel office politics"

2. Be a team player.
You can't burst into a song when a meeting is in progress. Maintain a professional attitude at all the times. It won't help to cry at the drop of a hat either. "If you're viewed as a professional, people know you are there to work and will involve you less in office politics and dirty gossip"

Another tip is to adopt the company culture. So refrain from wearing mini skirts and party make-up to work if you don't want to be the talk of the office.

3. Be professional. 
 As a team player, you must understand that the company and team come before you. 

"You can't be selfish and think only about yourself. Being a team player increases your chances of a promotion and makes you look like a better person, So though you may have an opinion (and a negative one at that) about every one of your colleagues, put it aside when you are at work.



4. Steer away from gossips.
If you give gossip and expect to get some, you'll be part of office politics. Krishnan says, "Gossip can get malicious if you're the type that asks for it and provides it. You'll lose respect of the people around you. No one talks well of a gossip monger."

5. Keep yourself busy.
Stay Idle long enough and you will start gossiping. Keep yourself occupied and away from people who try to involve you in gossip.
Staying away from office politics helps you maintain good mental health and make your working relationships last. So though you can't eliminate politics from your workplace, you certainly can steer away from it!

Ladies Special :Quick Beauty Tips

Women who wear the burden of multiple roles like wife, mother and corporate official will find it really hard to find some time to do their make up every morning. There are some beauty tips you can follow in well under five minutes.

Be prepared for a complete makeover as we unveil the inner world of true beauty dispensing tips and advice on every aspect of beauty right from homemade remedy to beauty pageant secrets. Our free tips and advice will work whether your skin is Asian, African American, Indian, or a light complexion.

The free beauty tips, advice and secrets contained here are for the mature woman as well as the teen girl still facing the trials of acne.

Our beauty tips are comprehensive and learning the right attitude and grooming can bring out the personality in you which even you might be surprised to know you had it.

Beauty tips provided by us are simple and usable in day to day life. Beauty is an asset not only right in your face but also in your behavior, attitude and scores of other things which you can think of.

Blemishes and dark spots
Even when you do not have the time to spend on any more make up, you can use a concealer stick to cover up or conceal spots and dark circles usually found under your eyes. You can mask the above with powder make up as well. This concealing of marks on your face can be achieved by spending less than two minutes of time. For decreasing the redness on the marks on your face, you can apply visine eye drops. Follow this beauty tip by applying the concealer.

Eyes
You can apply mascara on your eyes in a couple of moments or so. This will high light your eyes by giving more definition to your eye lashes. The mascara you apply should be complementary to the clothes you wear and it needs to be dusted softly to bring your eyes out. Eye color can be applied in a few moments as well. If you do not have enough time to put eye color, mascara by itself is good enough.

Lips
Applying some tinted or flavored lip gloss will give your lips a soft and kissable look. You can attract much more attention to your lips by the use of lipstick or lipstain. Either one of these make up and beauty products will improve your look and feel a lot.

Hair
Read our exhaustive beauty tips on hair care to get that bouncing beautiful hair. You should have a few hair pins, clips and decorative sticks always available. You can twist your hair up and pin it back in less than thirty seconds with the help of some hair accessories. In order to keep your hair in position, you can use non sticky hair spray or spray gel.

The last step before hitting your car is to apply some perfume or body spray. By following these quick beauty tips, you can complete your make up every morning in less than 10 minutes. You can add your own steps in to this plan in order to suit your personal tastes as well.

Read our exhaustive beauty tips resources on Nail care,leg care and skin care. A lady should also know how much a personality can seem changed with a beautiful smile on her face, well you can also look wonderful with our beauty tips. Check our website easygrooming.com regularly to see the latest updates and advancements in the beauty industry, we do update ourbeauty tips website once in a week.

Makeup Tips

The art of makeup is never easy, but with our revolutionary makeup tips it can be much easier that you would have thought it to be.

Beauty makeup tips provided by us to refresh your look is a skill as well as an art that can be learned by anyone and, with our online guidance, any woman (teen) can learn to use these cosmetics tips to make the most of her own natural looks.

Once you read through and apply the beauty makeup tips, products, the available tools and the tested and tried natural makeup techniques found on this web site you will be confident that experience brings and know that you are looking at your very best and appropriate for all occasions.

Compound or multiply your beauty and personality through right makeup.

Looking for some dramatic makeup effects- a look of the dramatic forties, monochrome effect of the sixties or a look natural makeup effect. See the dramatic results for any kind of makeup effects that you need through our free makeup tips. Easygrooming.com delivers smart beauty information on makeup tips, Skin Care and cosmetics, Hair Care, hair styles, eye care, hand and feet care, home made recipes, beauty products and many others that will help you highlight your natural beauty with emphasis on proper use of beauty and makeup products and an update on the latest cosmetics products and tips.

You may be wondering makeup is only for women, well go through the fine print a in our website and be surprised to know that we even have makeup tips for men. Yes, our makeup tips for men are revolutionary and cannot be found anywhere else.



Make Your Skin Glow-
1. Exfoliate your entire body in the shower the night before the party for smooth, gleaming skin.

2. To get a summery glow in the dead of winter, swipe a self-tanning towelette over your skin. (Try the Tan Towel: tantowel.com.) It’s easy to use, and the color is gradual — if you want a deeper color, just use a second towelette.

3. The fastest way to fix puffy eyes or dark circles: Brew two green tea bags, and let them cool. Then lie down and place them over your eyes for 10 minutes. The caffeine will tighten the tissue and reduce swelling.

4. If you have a zit, shrink it on the spot by wrapping an ice cube in a thin dish towel and resting it on the pimple for three minutes. This will alleviate inflammation and redness. Then cover the zit with a dab of lavender oil, which will dehydrate the blemish and kill bacteria.

5. Sleep is as crucial for your complexion as it is for your figure, so don’t skimp on it. Your body replenishes skin cells and produces collagen and elastin (which keep your skin strong and plump) while you’re sleeping.

You Want: Melt-Proof Makeup

Opt for feather-light formulations (the less makeup you put on, the less you have to worry about it sliding around). "In steamy weather, you'll sweat through most makeup, even powders," says Meredith Baraf, a makeup artist for Victoria's Secret. Her advice: Switch to tinted moisturizer, or simply disguise any discoloration with a concealer or stick foundation. Try Prescriptives AnyWear Multi-Purpose Makeup Stick SPF 15 ($35, department stores) — it comes with two minis you can keep handy in your purse and desk. To enhance lashes without smudges, use waterproof mascara, or try Clarins Double Fix' Mascara Waterproofing Seal ($21, department stores), which forms a clear, watertight seal over your favorite brand. If you're fair or just a low-maintenance gal, lash tints safely darken eyelashes for up to four days, even through showers and swims.


10 Beauty tips , not to forget-

1-skin moisturizer-moisturize at night and wake up to fresher, younger looking skin
.

2-do some deep breathing and morning stretched to get your blood pumping and get all the night's cricks out. You will feel fresh and alive and ready to take on the day.

3-get a makeup that is a base and powder in one for quick application.

4-brush hair underneath then flip over and brush. This will smooth hair and give it a little lift. Put hair up in a pony tail or clips for a young, fresh look that is quick, no time for rollers or curling irons(shower and wash hair in the evenings to save time)

5-prepare clothes
night before (if you have to try on outfits, do so the night before. Dress
in simple things that make you look and feel attractive and feminine, that make you feel good about yourself, and ready to face the day. (Simple is always attractive)

6-For a fast lip application, line the lips, then apply a gloss inside the liner. clean look

7-less is more. apply a thin coat of mascara or just use the clear coat kind just to bring out the lashes a bit.

8-do away with brushes for shadows and lips, use your fingers, just a dab will do you.

9-spritz on a little smell good and you're good to go

10-grab some comfortable, versatile shoes, maybe sandals, that go with most of your outfits so you're not taking all morning choosing which pair of shoes to wear today. Save the 4 inch blue pumps for your wild nights on the town.

Romantic Bathrooms ideas :)

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Nursing home -Joke

One evening a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leaves her, hoping she will be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden.

She seems OK, but after a while she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately rush up to catch her and straighten her up. Again she seems OK, but after a while she starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back and once more bring her back upright. This goes on all morning. Later the family arrives to see how the old woman is adjusting to her new home. "So Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?" they ask.

"It's pretty nice," she replies. "Except they won't let you fart."

Classic woman’s bingo joke!

Betty and Hilda, two friends, went together to play the slot machines at their local Bingo Hall.

Each agreed that when her allotted money was gone, she would go to the front of the Bingo Hall and sit on the bench to wait for her friend.

Betty quickly lost all of her money and went to sit on the bench. She waited and waited and waited and waited. After what seemed an eternity, she saw Hilda coming toward her carrying a huge sack of coins.

“Hey, Betty,” said Hilda, “how’d you do?” “Well, Hilda”, said Betty, “you see me here on this bench- what do you think? It looks like you hit it big, though.”

“Oh yeah,” said Betty, “did I find a good machine! It’s way in the back. I’ll show it to you – you can’t lose! EVERY TIME YOU PUT IN A DOLLAR FOUR QUARTERS COME OUT!!!”